Offener Brief an David Lynch
Musik: Angelo Badalamenti - Country Waltz
Your plan of building the "Universität des unbesiegbaren Deutschland" in Berlin put me in great euphoria and happiness. How fantastic it would be, to have a man of your format in strong connection with my country ! Only hours later the sad news reached me, that the capital's administration forbid the construction only to save a forest. Damn those treefuckers ! So I started to ask myself, how this great project can be saved. And as the Chinese use the same word for "defeat" and "chance", I see a big chance in this terrible decision, a big chance for my hometown Chemnitz.
You must know, Chemnitz is a very nice little town. Of course the landscape around here is not as beautiful as the scenery of Twin Peaks, and we have no elephant man in the zoo, but at least here are living bums on the street, that look as ugly as the one in your "Mullholland Drive" (by the way, that scene scared the shit out of me !). Also the people of Chemnitz are very friendly. We're dancing and playing funny games all the time and we are open-minded to people, who tell us about a better life. But what is even more important for you, there is a great place where you can build your university, a big hole directly in the middle of Chemnitz called the "Conti-Loch". It is there for many, many years and our mayor would be doing everything for you, if you buy this hole and put a building in it. And don't fear that nobody will come to your school ! We have a lot of dumb nazis here, who will, after hearing the name of your university, happily paying their last shirt for joining your courses. Even my aunt will properly join, because she has a chronic tinitus and is currently looking for a meditation course.
So come to Chemnitz - the door to the Erz-Mountains and home of the Karl-Marx-Head, and bless us with the presence of your "Universität des unbesiegbaren Deutschland" ! You won't regret it !
P.S. If you have some money left, it would be very kind of you to build us (and for your own advantage as well) an airport too...
