Schleim und Zeit
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable,
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy begger
Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey everyday.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And René DesCartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am".
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed.
