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@@@@@Her father?s house would, in all probability, teach her the value of a good income; and he trusted that she would be the wiser and happier woman, all her life, for the experiment he had devised Had Fanny been at all addicted to raptures, she must have had a strong attack of them when she first understood what was intended, when her uncle first made her the offer of visiting the parents, and brothers, and sisters, from whom she had been divided almost half her life; of returning for a couple of months to the scenes of her infancy, with William for the protector and companion of her journey, and the certainty of continuing to see William to the last hour of his remaining on landHad she ever given way to bursts of delight, it must have been then, for she was delighted, but her happiness was of a quiet, deep, heart-swelling sort; and though never a great talker, she was always more inclined to silence when feeling most stronglyAt the moment she could only thank and accept Afterwards, when familiarised with the visions of enjoyment so suddenly opened, she could speak more largely to William and Edmund of what she felt; but still there were emotions of tenderness that could not be clothed in wordsThe remembrance of all her earliest pleasures, and of what she had suffered in being torn from them, came over her with renewed strength, and it seemed as if to be at home again would heal every pain that had since grown out of the separationTo be in the centre of such a circle, loved by so many, and more loved by all than she had ever been before; to feel affection without fear or restraint; to feel herself the equal of those who surrounded her; to be at peace from all mention of the Crawfords, safe from every look which could be fancied a reproach on their accountThis was a prospect to be dwelt on with a fondness that could be but half acknowledged Edmund, too?to be two months from him (and perhaps she might be allowed to make her absence three) must do her goodAt a distance, unassailed by his looks or his kindness, and safe from the perpetual irritation of knowing his heart, and striving to avoid his 322 Mansfield Park confidence, she should be able to reason herself into a properer state; she should be able to think of him as in London, and arranging everything there, without wretchednessWhat might have been hard to bear at Mansfield was to become a slight evil at Portsmouth The only drawback was the doubt of her aunt Bertram?s being comfortable without herShe was of use to no one else; but there she might be missed to a degree that she did not like to think of; and that part of the arrangement was, indeed, the hardest for Sir Thomas to accomplish, and what only he could have accomplished at all But he was master at Mansfield ParkWhen he had really resolved on any measure, he could always carry it through; and now by dint of long talking on the subject, explaining and dwelling on the duty of Fanny?s sometimes seeing her family, he did induce his wife to let her go; obtaining it rather from submission, however, than conviction, for Lady Bertram was convinced of very little more than that Sir Thomas thought Fanny ought to go, and therefore that she must In the calmness of her own dressing-room, in the impartial flow of her own meditations, unbiassed by his bewildering statements, she could not acknowledge any necessity for Fanny?s ever going near a father and mother who had done without her so long, while she was so useful to herself And as to the not missing her, which under Mrs Norris?s discussion was the point attempted to be proved, she set herself very steadily against admitting any such thing Sir Thomas had appealed to her reason, conscience, and dignity He called it a sacrifice, and demanded it of her goodness and selfcommand as suchNorris wanted to persuade her that Fanny could be very well spared?she being ready to give up all her own time to her as requested?and, in short, could not really be wanted or missed ?That may be, sister,? was all Lady Bertram?s reply?I dare say you are very right; but I am sure I shall miss her very much The next step was to communicate with PortsmouthFanny wrote to offer herself; and her mother?s answer, though short, was so kind? a few simple lines expressed so natural and motherly a joy in the prospect of seeing her child again, as to confirm all the daughter?s views of happiness in being with her?convincing her that she should now find a warm and affectionate friend in the ?mama? who had 323 Jane Austen certainly shewn no remarkable fondness for her formerly; but this she could easily suppose to have been her own fault or her own fancyShe had probably alienated love by the helplessness and fretfulness of a fearful temper, or been unreasonable in wanting a larger share than any one among so many could deserve