03.01.2010 um 22:00 Uhr

Day 3

Head feels fine. I'm definitely not racing. If anything, I'm a little down, but just a little. I'm not in a reading mood.I spent the last 5 hours getting things caught up on my computer. Now everything is where it belongs. I've been accumulating things for two months and just dumping them in folders.I'm debating whether I want to enter into any icontests. I haven't done any in a while. The other option is to go surfing fantasy art sites to see what I can find for any of my wip. Elfwood, here I come.

01.01.2010 um 17:44 Uhr

Day 2

I feel a little off today, but not badly. I spent the day at the pool with Younger while I read. I just can't get into Dhamphir. A lot has happened, but I don't care. Poor Magiere had a crappy childhood. That is writer lazy for this is why my character is an ass, so please like them enough to care what happens to them. I so do not care about any of them and am seriously contemplating putting the book down. It's hard to follow up Bitten, where I cared about every single character so much, I kept trying to figure a way that everyone could get what they wanted. As Donald Maass said "If a novel is really absorbing, I project myself into the story and imagine alternate outcomes, trying to make everything that is going wrong work out right. Do you do that too, or did I just embarrass myself?""A mix of The Lord of the Rings and Buffy the Vampire Slayer..." I really wonder is people who write blurbs know what the heck they are talking about sometimes. I would say that Dhamphir has all the characterization of Tolkien, which is to say very little. Just because there is an elf of sorts in the book, doesn't make it Tolkienesque. Now as to the Buffy comparison. I would compare Anita Blake to Buffy. Not because they are both vampire slayers (or in love with vampires), but because the characters are rich and engaging.I'm going to read The Historian instead. Everyone I've heard talk about it either loved it or hated it. I love the premise. Life is too short to read crappy books.

30.12.2009 um 13:25 Uhr

Checking in Day 1

Let's see. Nothing new to report yet. I slept fine. I'm awake now and going to take the kids to the pool for a few hours.I'm not going to even try to write until I have that burning desire to. I don't stay excited and I can't write. These aren't side effects of the med. They are the effects. Carefully weighing everything, I'm glad I reduced the dosage.Have a great day everyone

28.12.2009 um 10:04 Uhr

Med update

I am so not me right now, not the me I like, not the me I want to be.I was off the anti-psychotic completely for five months last year. The last month was rocky because of the chaos of moving. Other than that, I loved who I was and what I was capable of. Now, not so much.It may appear that the meds are putting me where I should be, at least where others think I should be. I am focused and some would make the argument that I am still creative. But they aren't me and don't realize what I can be.Take for example my writing. Over the last few weeks, I've come up with several characters for my next project (an urban fantasy series). It is easy to say that I am still creative. However, being me to my fullest, I'd have the plot already worked out. Just wake up from a nap and I have an entire new world to work with. For my current project, I haven't written anything substantial since December. I've been able to edit and research, but the actual writing that will finish the sucker has been so not happening.There are other things that are not up to me actually being me that would be TMI.I was firm and even though my pdoc doesn't like it (she thinks I'm like every other BP patient who wants to go off meds because I miss the high. I miss me being me, which is where small manic episodes fit in), as of tonight, I am going to halve the anti-psychotic. I want to go off it completely, but this is a compromise that she has reluctantly approved.It is great to be able to sit down long enough to read a book in one sitting, but the excitement from the books is short lived. I haven't gone on about how I'm falling in love with Kelley Armstrong. I managed to put Joe Hill's Heart Shaped Box down in the middle when I had to go to bed (though I went to bed an hour late). I managed to put King's Lisey's Story down (though that was mainly due to length and where I read it). I couldn't put Bitten down at all. From the prologue on, I was her bitch (pun intended). Same with Laurell K Hamilton's Blood Noir, even though Jean-Claude was barely in it. Where's the gushing in my journal?I have seen three amazing movies this past month: Prince Caspian, Kung Fu Panda and Wall-e. I was very unhappy with The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe because it did not include one very important phrase. Prince Caspian differed enough from the book, that I consider it one of the best written pieces of fan fiction, but I loved every minute of it. Where is the love in my journal?Kung Fu Panda was beyond funny and I liked the way the themes were played. I saw it with my father, who didn't stop laughing the entire time. Of course the kids had to go to the bathroom at the two key moments (when they give Tai-Lung's backstory and when Po returns). I marveled at everything, from how well it was written to the amazing quality of the animation (especially because I saw it at a digital theater). I mentioned this when?Wall-e. Again, I saw it with my dad, which made it special. It was a very sweet story. It reminded me of the other things Pixar has done, but they do quality work. The premise was interesting, but the lack of dialogue eventually got on my nerves. It was amazing how much emotion they were able to show with that little robot, but that only carried me so far. Wall-e reminded me of ET.Thursday, I was beyond excited when Melanie got back to me so quickly. That excitement was short lived. The anti-psychotic slammed it down. That is not how I want to go through life.If I feel myself going too high, I will take an extra anti-psychotic. I will check in here every day. If you think I am getting out of control, I know you will let me know. I have the best support network. Hopefully, halving it will be enough. If not, I will go off it and see what happens. I will keep my doctor, who is making me see her every month to make sure things are okay, informed. I may be changing pdocs next month anyway. Traveling up to Newark every month with gas prices as they are is not my idea of a good idea. I have to change tdocs. I may change to a pdoc in her practice if I like her.That's it from here.

26.12.2009 um 08:58 Uhr


I'm having trouble staring the sections that need to be added. They are good ideas and I want to include them, but they aren't my ideas, so they aren't just pouring from me. I decided to work on the synopses. Now I have an 11 1/2 page one, a 9 page one, a 3 page one and a 1 page (single spaced) one. I was going to do a 2 page (single spaced) one, but I realized the 3 page one works for that. That should be all the various versions agents want.Go me!!!