loebraza968

@@@@@One was feeding the otherI didn't know exactly how, and I didn't need to knowShe knew I would, not because she was my favorite (Lin was the one who knew that, I think), but because she had always been satisfied with so little and so seldom asked for anythingAnd because when I listened to her 117 message, I remembered how she'd started to cry that day she and Melinda had come out to Lake Phalen, leaning against me and asking why it couldn't be the way it wasBecause things never are, I think I replied, but maybe for a couple of days they could beor a reasonable facsimile thereofIlse was nineteen, probably too old for one last childhood Christmas, but surely not too old to deserve one more with the family she'd grown up withAnd that went for Lin, tooHer survival skills were better, but she was flying home from France yet again, and that told me somethingI'd go, I'd make nice, and I would be sure to pack Reba, just in case one of my rages swept over meThey were abating, but of course on Duma Key there was really nothing to rage against except for my periodic forgetfulness and shitty limpI called the charter service I'd used for the last fifteen years and confirmed a Learjet, Sarasota to MSP International, leaving at nine o'clock AM on the twenty-fourth of December I called Jack, who said he'd be happy to drive me to Dolphin Aviation and pick me up again on the 118 twenty-eighthAnd then, just when I had all of my ducks in a row, Pam called to tell me the whole thing was off vi Pam's father was a retired MarineHe and his wife had relocated to Palm Desert, California, in the last year of the twentieth century, settling in one of those gated communities where there's one token African-American couple and four token Jewish couplesChildren and vegetarians are not allowedResidents must vote Republican and own small dogs with rhinestone collars, stupid eyes, and names that end in iTaffi is good, Cassi is better, and something like Rififi is the total shitPam's father had been diagnosed with rectal cancerIt didn't surprise mePut a bunch of white assholes together and you're going to find that going around I did not say this to my wife, who started off strong and then broke down in tears"He's started the chemo, but Momma says it might already have metasoh, whatever that fucking word 119 is, I sound like you!" And then, still sniffing but sounding shocked and humbled: "I'm sorry, Eddie, that was terrible