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When it came to the moment of parting, he would take her hand, he would not be denied it; he said nothing, however, or nothing that she heard, and when he had left the room, she was better pleased that such a token of friendship had passed On the morrow the Crawfords were gone 318 Mansfield Park CHAPTER XXXVII MRCRAWFORD GONE, Sir Thomas?s next object was that he should be missed; and he entertained great hope that his niece would find a blank in the loss of those attentions which at the time she had felt, or fancied, an evilShe had tasted of consequence in its most flattering form; and he did hope that the loss of it, the sinking again into nothing, would awaken very wholesome regrets in her mindHe watched her with this idea; but he could hardly tell with what success He hardly knew whether there were any difference in her spirits or notShe was always so gentle and retiring that her emotions were beyond his discriminationHe did not understand her: he felt that he did not; and therefore applied to Edmund to tell him how she stood affected on the present occasion, and whether she were more or less happy than she had been Edmund did not discern any symptoms of regret, and thought his father a little unreasonable in supposing the first three or four days could produce any What chiefly surprised Edmund was, that Crawford?s sister, the friend and companion who had been so much to her, should not be more visibly regrettedHe wondered that Fanny spoke so seldom of her, and had so little voluntarily to say of her concern at this separation Alas! it was this sister, this friend and companion, who was now the chief bane of Fanny?s comfortIf she could have believed Mary?s future fate as unconnected with Mansfield as she was determined the brother?s should be, if she could have hoped her return thither to be as distant as she was much inclined to think his, she louis vuitton gold bag would have been light of heart indeed; but the more she recollected and observed, the more deeply was she convinced that everything was now in a fairer train for Miss Crawford?s marrying Edmund than it 319 Jane Austen had ever been beforeOn his side the inclination was stronger, on hers less equivocalHis objections, the scruples of his integrity, seemed all done away, nobody could tell how; and the doubts and hesitations of her ambition were equally got over?and equally without apparent reasonIt could only be imputed to increasing attachment His good and her bad feelings yielded to love, and such love must unite themHe was to go to town as soon as some business relative to Thornton Lacey were completed?perhaps within a fortnight; he talked of going, he loved to talk of it; and when once with her again, Fanny could not doubt the restHer acceptance must be as certain as his offer; and yet there were bad feelings still remaining which made the prospect of it most sorrowful to her, independently, she believed, independently of self In their very last conversation, Miss Crawford, in spite of some amiable sensations, and much personal kindness, had still been Miss Crawford; still shewn a mind led astray and bewildered, and without any suspicion of being so; darkened, yet fancying itself lightShe might love, but she did not deserve Edmund by any other sentimentFanny believed there was scarcely a second feeling in common between them; and she may be forgiven by older sages for looking on the chance of Miss Crawford?s future improvement as nearly desperate, for thinking that if Edmund?s influence in this season of love had already done so little in clearing her judgment, and regulating her notions, his worth would be finally wasted on her even in years of matrimony Experience might have hoped more for any young people so circumstanced, and impartiality would not have denied replica swiss rolex submariner to Miss Crawford?s nature that participation of the general nature of women which would lead her to adopt the opinions of the man she loved and respected as her ownBut as such were Fanny?s persuasions, she suffered very much from them, and could never speak of Miss Crawford without pain Sir Thomas, meanwhile, went on with his own hopes and his own observations, still feeling a right, by all his knowledge of human nature, to expect to see the effect of the loss of power and consequence on his niece?s spirits, and the past attentions of the lover producing a craving for their return; and he was soon afterwards able to account for his not yet completely and indubitably seeing all 320 Mansfield Park this, by the prospect of another visitor, whose approach he could allow to be quite enough to support the spirits he was watching William had obtained a ten days? leave of absence, to be given to Northamptonshire, and was coming, the happiest of lieutenants, because the latest made, to shew his happiness and describe his uniform He came; and he would have been delighted to shew his uniform there too, had not cruel custom prohibited its appearance except on dutySo the uniform remained at Portsmouth, and Edmund conjectured that before Fanny had any chance of seeing it, all its own freshness and all the freshness of its wearer?s feelings must be worn awayIt would be sunk into a badge of disgrace; for what can be more unbecoming, or more worthless, than the uniform of a lieutenant, who has been a lieutenant a year or two, and sees others made commanders before him? So reasoned Edmund, till his father made him the confidant of a scheme which placed Fanny?s chance of seeing the second lieutenant of HThrush in all his glory in another light This scheme was that she should accompany her brother back to Portsmouth, and spend a little time with her own familyIt had occurred to buy chanel purse Sir Thomas, in one of his dignified musings, as a right and desirable measure; but before he absolutely made up his mind, he consulted his sonEdmund considered it every way, and saw nothing but what was rightThe thing was good in itself, and could not be done at a better time; and he had no doubt of it being highly agreeable to FannyThis was enough to determine Sir Thomas; and a decisive ?then so it shall be? closed that stage of the business; Sir Thomas retiring from it with some feelings of satisfaction, and views of good over and above what he had communicated to his son; for his prime motive in sending her away had very little to do with the propriety of her seeing her parents again, and nothing at all with any idea of making her happyHe certainly wished her to go willingly, but he as certainly wished her to be heartily sick of home before her visit ended; and that a little abstinence from the elegancies and luxuries of Mansfield Park would bring her mind into a sober state, and incline her to a juster estimate of the value of that home of greater permanence, and equal comfort, of which she had the offer 321 Jane Austen It was a medicinal project upon his niece?s understanding, which he must consider as at present diseasedA residence of eight or nine years in the abode of wealth and plenty had a little disordered her powers of comparing and judgingHer father?s house would, in all probability, teach her the value of a good income; and he trusted that she would be the wiser and happier woman, all her life, for the experiment he had devised Had Fanny been at all addicted to raptures, she must have had a strong attack of them when she first understood what was intended, when her uncle first made her the offer of visiting the parents, and brothers, and sisters, from whom she had been divided almost half her life; of returning for a couple of months to the chanel watch black . scenes of her infancy, with William for the protector and companion of her journey, and the certainty of continuing to see William to the last hour of his remaining on landHad she ever given way to bursts of delight, it must have been then, for she was delighted, but her happiness was of a quiet, deep, heart-swelling sort; and though never a great talker, she was always more inclined to silence when feeling most stronglyAt the moment she could only thank and accept Afterwards, when familiarised with the visions of enjoyment so suddenly opened, she could speak more largely to William and Edmund of what she felt; but still there were emotions of tenderness that could not be clothed in wordsThe remembrance of all her earliest pleasures, and of what she had suffered in being torn from them, came over her with renewed strength, and it seemed as if to be at home again would heal every pain that had since grown out of the separationTo be in the centre of such a circle, loved by so many, and more loved by all than she had ever been before; to feel affection without fear or restraint; to feel herself the equal of those who surrounded her; to be at peace from all mention of the Crawfords, safe from every look which could be fancied a reproach on their accountThis was a prospect to be dwelt on with a fondness that could be but half acknowledged Edmund, too?to be two months from him (and perhaps she might be allowed to make her absence three) must do her goodAt a distance, unassailed by his looks or his kindness, and safe from the perpetual irritation of knowing his heart, and striving to avoid his 322 Mansfield Park confidence, she should be able to reason herself into a properer state; she should be able to think of him as in London, and arranging everything there, without wretchednessWhat might have been hard to bear at Mansfield was to become a slight evil at chanel bags for cheep Portsmou