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She had all the heroism of principle, and was determined to do
her duty; but having also many of the feelings of youth and nature,
let her not be much wondered at, if, after making all these good
resolutions on the side of self-government, she seized the scrap of
paper on which Edmund had begun writing to her, as a treasure
beyond all her hopes, and reading with the tenderest emotion these
words, ?My very dear Fanny, you must do me the favour to accept?
locked it up with the chain, as the dearest part of the giftIt was the
only thing approaching to a letter which she had ever received from
him; she might never receive another; it was impossible that she
ever should receive another so perfectly gratifying in the occasion
and the styleTwo lines more prized had never fallen from the pen
230
Mansfield Park
of the most distinguished author?never more completely blessed
the researches of the fondest biographerThe enthusiasm of a woman?s
love is even beyond the biographer?sTo her, the handwriting itself,
independent of anything it may convey, is a blessednessNever
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such characters cut by any other human being as Edmund?s commonest
handwriting gave! This specimen, written in haste as it was,
had not a fault; and there was a felicity in the flow of the first four
words, in the arrangement of ?My very dear Fanny,? which she could
have looked at for ever
Having regulated her thoughts and comforted her feelings by this
happy mixture of reason and weakness, she was able in due time to
go down and resume her usual employments near her aunt Bertram,
and pay her the usual observances without any apparent want of
spirits
Thursday, predestined to hope and enjoyment, came; and opened
with more kindness to Fanny than such self-willed, unmanageable
days often volunteer, for soon after breakfast a very friendly note
was brought from MrCrawford to William, stating that as he found
himself obliged to go to London on the morrow for a few days, he
could not help trying to procure a companion; and therefore hoped
that if William could make up his mind to leave Mansfield half a
day earlier than had been proposed, he would accept a place
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carriageCrawford meant to be in town by his uncle?s
accustomary late dinner-hour, and William was invited to dine with
him at the Admiral?sThe proposal was a very pleasant one to
William himself, who enjoyed the idea of travelling post with four
horses, and such a good-humoured, agreeable friend; and, in likening
it to going up with despatches, was saying at once everything
in favour of its happiness and dignity which his imagination
could suggest; and Fanny, from a different motive, was exceedingly
pleased; for the original plan was that William should go up
by the mail from Northampton the following night, which would
not have allowed him an hour?s rest before he must have got into a
Portsmouth coach; and though this offer of MrCrawford?s would
rob her of many hours of his company, she was too happy in having
William spared from the fatigue of such a journey, to think of
anything elseSir Thomas approved of it for another reasonHis
231
Jane Austen
nephew?s introduction to Admiral Crawford might be of service
The Admiral, he believed, had interestUpon
tiffany replica jewelry the whole, it was a
very joyous noteFanny?s spirits lived on it half the morning, deriving
some accession of pleasure from its writer being himself to
go away
As for the ball, so near at hand, she had too many agitations and
fears to have half the enjoyment in anticipation which she ought to
have had, or must have been supposed to have by the many young
ladies looking forward to the same event in situations more at ease,
but under circumstances of less novelty, less interest, less peculiar
gratification, than would be attributed to herMiss Price, known
only by name to half the people invited, was now to make her first
appearance, and must be regarded as the queen of the eveningWho
could be happier than Miss Price? But Miss Price had not been
brought up to the trade of coming out; and had she known in what
light this ball was, in general, considered respecting her, it would
very much have lessened her comfort by increasing the fears she
already had of doing wrong and being looked atTo dance without
much observation or any extraordinary fatigue, to have
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and partners for about half the evening, to dance a little with
Edmund, and not a great deal with MrCrawford, to see William
enjoy himself, and be able to keep away from her aunt Norris, was
the height of her ambition, and seemed to comprehend her greatest
possibility of happinessAs these were the best of her hopes, they
could not always prevail; and in the course of a long morning, spent
principally with her two aunts, she was often under the influence of
much less sanguine viewsWilliam, determined to make this last
day a day of thorough enjoyment, was out snipe-shooting; Edmund,
she had too much reason to suppose, was at the Parsonage; and left
alone to bear the worrying of MrsNorris, who was cross because
the housekeeper would have her own way with the supper, and whom
she could not avoid though the housekeeper might, Fanny was worn
down at last to think everything an evil belonging to the ball, and
when sent off with a parting worry to dress, moved as languidly
towards her own room, and felt as incapable of happiness as if she
had been allowed no share in
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