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@@@@@What got me laughing wasn't the bug-eyed look of amazement on Wireman's face when his disintegrating beach chair tried to clamp on him like a striped jaw, nor his sudden barrel-roll onto the sandIt wasn't even the sight of that table trying to escape, tugged by its own umbrellaIt was Wireman's glass, still standing placidly upright between the sprawling man's side and left arm Acme Iced Tea Company, I thought, still stuck on those old Road Runner cartoonsMeep-meep! And 218 that, of course, made me think of the crane that had done the damage, the one with the fucked-up beeper that hadn't beeped, and all at once I saw myself as Wile ECoyote in the cab of my disintegrating pickup truck, eyes bugged in bewilderment, frazzled ears sticking off in two opposite directions and maybe smoking a little at the tipsI laughed until I rolled bonelessly out of my own chair and plopped onto the sand beside Wiremanbut I also missed the glass, which still stood perfectly upright like a cigarette-butt in an urn of sandIt was impossible for me to laugh any harder, but I did Tears gushed down my cheeks and the world had begun to dim out as my brain went into oxygendeprivation mode Wireman, still howling, went crawling after his runaway table, locomoting on knees and elbowsHe made a grab for the base and it skittered away as if sensing his approachWireman plowed face-first into the sand and came up laughing and sneezingI rolled over on my back and gasped for breath, on the verge of passing out but still laughing 219 That was how I met Wireman iii Twenty minutes later the table had been placed in a rough approximation of its original position That was all very well, but neither of us could look at the umbrella without breaking into fits of the gigglesOne of its pie-wedges was torn, and it now rose crookedly from the table, giving it the look of a drunken man trying to pretend he's soberWireman had moved the remaining chair down to the end of the wooden walk, and had taken it at my insistenceI was sitting on the walk itself, which, although backless, would make getting up an easier (not to mention more dignified) proposition Wireman had offered to replace the spilled pitcher of iced tea with a fresh oneI refused this, but agreed to split the miraculously unspilled glass with him "Now we're water-brothers," he said when it was gone "Is that some Indian ritual?" I asked 220 "Nope, from Stranger in a Strange Land, by Robert Heinle