quaalu1949

@@@@@ How to Draw a Picture (IX) Look for the picture inside the pictureIt's not always easy to see, but it's always thereAnd if you miss it, you can miss the worldI know that better than anyone, because when I looked at the picture of Carson Jones and my daughter - of Smiley and his Punkin - I thought I knew what I was looking for and missed the truthBecause I didn't trust him? Yes, but that's almost funny The truth was, I wouldn't have trusted any man who presumed to claim my darling, my favored one, my Ilse I found a picture of him alone before I found the one of them together, but I told myself I didn't want the solo shot, that one wouldn't do me any 876 good, if I wanted to know his intentions toward my daughter I had to touch them as a couple with my magic hand I was already making assumptions, you see If I'd touched the first one, really searched the first one - Carson Jones dressed in his Twins shirt, Carson alone - things might have been differentI might have sensed his essential harmlessnessAlmost certainly would haveBut I ignored that oneAnd I never asked myself why, if he was a danger to her, I had then drawn her alone, looking out at all those floating tennis balls Because the little girl in the tennis dress was her, of courseAlmost all the girls I drew and painted during my time on Duma Key were, even the ones that masqueraded as Reba, or Libbit, or - in one case - as Adriana There was only one female exception: the red-robe When I touched the photograph of Ilse and her boyfriend, I had sensed death - I didn't admit it to myself at the time, but it was trueMy missing hand sensed death, impending like rain in clouds 877 I assumed Carson Jones meant my daughter harm, and that was why I wanted her to stay away from him But he was never the problemPerse wanted to make me stop - was, I think, desperate to make me stop once I found Libbit's old drawings and pencils - but Carson Jones was never Perse's weaponEven poor Tom Riley was only a stopgap, a make-do The picture was there, but I made a wrong assumption, and missed the truth: the death I felt wasn't coming from himIt was hanging over her And part of me must have known I misse