I thought Illy was just tender "And in the end,... 65
I thought Illy was
just tender
"And in the end, they may prove it Kamen
shrugged his enormous shoulders"How much of a
death-duty that might entail I couldn't guess, but
I'm sure it would erase a great deal of your
life's treasure
I wasn't thinking about the moneyI was thinking
about a team of insurance investigators sniffing
around whatever I set upAnd all at once I began
to laugh
Kamen sat with his huge dark brown hands on his
doorstop knees, looking at me with his little
I've-seen-everything smileExcept on his face
nothing was littleHe let my laughter run its
course and then asked me what was so funny
"You're telling me I'm too rich to kill myself," I
said
"I'm telling you not now, Edgar, and that's all
I'm telling youI'm also going to make a
suggestion that prada clutch goes against a good deal of my own
practical experienceBut I have a very strong
intuition in your case - the same sort of
31
intuition that caused me to give you the dollI
propose you try a geographical
"Beg pardon?"
"It's a form of recovery often attempted by latestage
alcoholicsThey hope that a change of
location will give them a fresh start
I felt a flicker of somethingI won't say it was
hope, but it was something
"It rarely works," Kamen said"The old-timers in
Alcoholics Anonymous, who have an answer for
everything - it's their curse as well as their
blessing, although very few ever realize it - like
to say, 'Put an asshole on a plane in Boston, an
asshole gets off in Seattle'"
"So where does that leave me?" I asked
"Right now it leaves you in suburban prada logo St
What I'm suggesting is that you pick someplace far
from here and go thereYou're in a unique
position to do so, given your financial situation
and marital status
"For how long?"
"At least a year He looked at me inscrutably
His large face was made for such an expression;
32
etched on King Tut's tomb, I believe it might have
made even Howard Carter consider"And if you do
anything at the end of that year, Edgar, for God's
sake - no, for your daughters' sake - make it look
good
He had nearly disappeared into the old sofa; now
he began to struggle up againI stepped forward
to help him and he waved me awayHe made it to
his feet at last, wheezing more loudly than ever,
and took up his briefcaseHe looked down at me
from his height of six and a half feet, those
staring chanel classic bag eyeballs with their yellowish corneas made
even larger by his glasses, which had very thick
lenses
"Edgar, does anything make you happy?"
I considered the surface of this question (the
only part that seemed safe) and said, "I used to
sketch It had actually been a little more than
just sketching, but that was long agoSince then,
other things had intervened
Both of which were now going or gone
33
I thought of telling him I'd once dreamed of art
school - had even bought the occasional book of
reproductions when I could afford to - and then
didn'tIn the last thirty years, my contribution
to the world of art had consisted of little more
than doodles while taking telephone calls, and it
had probably been ten years since I'd bought the
sort of picture-book that belongs coco chanel jewelry on a coffee
table where it can impress your friends
"Since then?"
I considered lying - didn't want to seem like a
complete fixated drudge - but stuck to the truth
One-armed men should tell the truth whenever
possibleWireman doesn't say that; I do
"Take it up again," Kamen advised
"Hedges," I said, bemused He looked surprised and a little
disappointed, as if I had failed to understand a
very simple concept"Hedges against the night
vi
34
A week or so later, Tom Riley came to see me again
By then the leaves had started to turn color, and
I remember the clerks putting up Halloween posters
in the Wal-Mart where I bought my first sketchpads
since collegehell, maybe since high school
What I remember most clearly about that visit is
how embarrassed and ill-at-ease Tom black gucci bag see
