@@@@@ At last?it seemed an at last to Fanny?s 332
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At last?it seemed an at last to Fanny?s nervousness, though not
remarkably late?he began to talk of going away; but the comfort
of the sound was impaired by his turning to her the next moment,
and saying, ?Have you nothing to send to Mary? No answer to her
note? She will be disappointed if she receives nothing from you
Pray write to her, if it be only a line
?Oh yes! certainly,? cried Fanny, rising in haste, the haste of embarrassment
and of wanting to get away??I will write directly
She went accordingly to the table, where she was in the habit of
writing for her aunt, and prepared her materials without knowing
what in the world to sayShe had read Miss Crawford?s note only
once, and how to reply to anything so imperfectly understood was
most distressingQuite unpractised in such sort of note-writing,
had there been time for scruples and fears as to style she would have
felt them in abundance: but something must be instantly written;
and with only one decided feeling, that of wishing not to appear to
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Mansfield Park
think anything really intended, she wrote thus, in great trembling
both of spirits and hand?
?I am very much obliged to you, my dear Miss Crawford, for
your kind congratulations, as far as they relate to my dearest William
The rest of your note I know means nothing; but I am so
unequal to anything of the sort, that I hope you will excuse my
begging you to take no farther noticeI have seen too much of Mr
Crawford not to understand his manners; if he understood me as
well, he would, I dare say, behave differentlyI do not know what I
write, but it would be a great favour of you never to mention the
subject againWith thanks for the honour of your note, I remain,
dear Miss Crawford, etc
The conclusion was scarcely intelligible from increasing fright,
for she found that MrCrawford, under pretence of receiving the
note, was coming towards her
?You cannot think I mean to hurry you,? said he, in an undervoice,
perceiving the amazing trepidation with which she made up the
note, ?you cannot think I have any such objectDo not hurry yourself,
I entreat
?Oh! I thank you; I have quite done, just done; it will be ready in
a moment; I am very much obliged to you; if you will be so good as
to give that to Miss Crawford
The note was held out, and must be taken; and as she instantly
and with averted eyes walked towards the fireplace, where sat the
others, he had nothing to do but to go in good earnest
Fanny thought she had never known a day of greater agitation,
both of pain and pleasure; but happily the pleasure was not of a sort
to die with the day; for every day would restore the knowledge of
William?s advancement, whereas the pain, she hoped, would return
no moreShe had no doubt that her note must appear excessively
ill-written, that the language would disgrace a child, for her distress
had allowed no arrangement; but at least it would assure them both
of her being neither imposed on nor gratified by MrCrawford?s
attentions
269
Jane Austen
CHAPTER XXXII
FANNY HAD BY NO MEANS forgotten MrCrawford when she awoke
the next morning; but she remembered the purport of her note,
and was not less sanguine as to its effect than she had been the
night beforeCrawford would but go away! That was what
she most earnestly desired: go and take his sister with him, as he
was to do, and as he returned to Mansfield on purpose to doAnd
why it was not done already she could not devise, for Miss Crawford
certainly wanted no delayFanny had hoped, in the course of his
yesterday?s visit, to hear the day named; but he had only spoken of
their journey as what would take place ere
